Who is Uncle Benny?
Some people are lucky and had “sex mentors:” parents, siblings and older friends who give them accurate information. Lucky people also had good “love models” parents or others whose openness about their affection, sensuality and comfort with their bodies.
Those people are less likely to have shame and guilt about sex.
Unlucky ones can get bad information, shame, guilt, misogyny, homophobia from their environment. They may have experienced abuse by an older person or teen, unpleasant, aversive or abusive first relationships or violence. Sex, for those people, may be difficult or fraught.
In mid-career I developed an alternate persona as a therapist I now call Uncle Benny.
Uncle Benny is not a therapist. He gives accurate (to the best of my ability, library and personal contacts) information about sex, sexual response and dating. He is comfortable exploring kink and fetish and will give accurate information including, if possible, where to find like-minded people. (I say “if possible” because I’m new to my remote community and don’t know where the kinks are located yet.)
Uncle Benny asks that you go on to mentor another person.
Repair therapy seems to be effective in resetting our sexual behaviours back to what it would be instinctively. By instinct I include our attractions and sensual and sexual BUT ALSO our ability to determine safety. Please read my blog post on safety.
I have found that some of the techniques of Repair Therapy seem to help individuals and couples find the joy and spontaneity in sex and sensuality that they had lost or never had.
Our Conscious Mind can help or a hinder an ecstatic sex life. Sexual fantasy can build anticipation and bring creativity into sex. It can also stop our enjoyment. We may not do something because of fears or judgments we got from others or mistaken ideas and bad information. With all due respect to Father McCohen, he is not likely the right person to be a Sex Mentor.
